Harry Potter and the Very Naughty Limericks
by Davenrood
Summary: Six limericks, all very naughty, with characters from Harry Potter. Warning: some slash!
1. Assorted Fruits and Nuts

Harry Potter and the Very Naughty Limericks

Author: Davenrood

Rating: M for being very naughty

Please review and tell me what you think! Warnings: Contains some slash, what could be considered food smut, I suppose, groups, and a poor misused lawn. Oh, and let me know if you have any topic requests!

1. The Dark Mark

There once was a man with a mark

On his wrist that was thought to be dark.

He said, "Harry, I know

We're the same down below,

But I'll fuck you still, just for a lark."

2. What A Mess

Two students - shagging on the floor

Heard a noise behind the cupboard door.

There stood a house elf

Who was wanking himself.

Said the elf, "What can I do you for?"

3.

There once was a boy who was slick

and had two cronies who were quite thick.

He coated his meat

With an icing so sweet

That they soon were both sucking his prick.

4. Inter-house co-operation

There once was a Gryffindor lassie

who acted quite charming and classy.

But every night

She would find her delight

as the Slytherins ravaged her chassis.

5. Cloaked

There once was a laddie who wore

a magical cloak to explore.

Though he had to assume

no one entered the room,

Snape kept finding himself yelling, "More!"

6. One for the Muggles

There was a fat boy from a privet

who would take from whoever would give it.

But when there was none

he thought it quite fun

to make use of a well hidden divot.


	2. Harry and Snape

Here are some more limericks, this time with a HP/SS theme. Hope you enjoy! Please send me any topics for limericks that you'd like to see! Thanks to those of you who already reviewed! These are for you!

**1. Making the Grade**

Harry knew that he never would pass

If he kept acting up in Snape's class.

So he flirted a bit,

And Snape said, "That is IT!

Keep THAT up, and you'll have a spanked ass."

**2. Snape's Suspicions**

Suspicious, Snape followed a whim.

Found Harry out for a nude swim.

He finally had caught him,

But, oh - oh that bottom!

Oh screw it! or rather, screw him.

**3.**

After catching that hot "golden snitch"

Snape deflowered him on yon qudditch pitch.

After having his way,

He stopped briefly to say,

"That's for all of your torment, you bitch."

**4. More bitches.**

After setting his cauldron aflame

A detention from Snape seemed fair game.

But the tables were turned.

Harry's crazy when spurned!

"Who's the master, now bitch? Say my name!"

**5. Sex Toys**

In bed, Snape just wouldn't respond

And when Harry stripped nude, only yawned.

He would not be deterred!

And Snape finally was stirred

With the improper use of a wand.


	3. Christmas

Hello and Merry Chistmas. Here are four limericks, three of which are Christmas related, for you! Thank you to all who continue to read!

KISSES! (oh, and please continue to send me ideas if you want to have a limerick written. It can be something as simple as "these three words rhyme... do something with them. I love a challenge.)

**1. Jealous Ron**

While dancing at the Yule Ball

Hermione heard somebody call:

"He might be well known,

but don't get him alone

'cause I'll wager his dick is too small."

**2. Christmas**

Alone in the req-room with Cho

who noticed some spare mistletoe.

Anyone could bet

That her kisses were wet,

But we're not sure about down below.

**3. Anvil sized hints.**

One with red hair and a rat.

One with big teeth and a cat.

Fighting ever.

Dating? Never!

Wait, they're shagging! Fancy that.

**4. Cheap Gifts**

For a jolly good holiday present

Harry had quite a naughty intent:

"I'll strip nude down below,

tie it up with a bow,

and I've managed to spend not a cent!"


	4. A Challenge Limerick

About two years later… this is for jokergirl4ever! I did cheat a little and knocked the s off the cookies.

**A Tasty Treat:**

While donning whipped cream and a cherry

Snape served himself up to sweet Harry

"Though, I wanted a cookie,

I guess I'll take nookie."

Said Snape, "Oh, don't be so contrary!"

Thanks for the challenge!


End file.
